Missing my Little Guy

So today, I got to play full-time aunt! My sister-in-law Kim had a jewelry show to attend this weekend, and they gave me the opportunity to stay with them for a couple of nights to help her get ready for the show and then watch the kids for her today. I don't get to see my niece and nephews very often, so it was a lot of fun to be with them. We had a good time eating, bathing, reading books, doing hair, watching a movie, doing homework, and even taking a nap together. They are so cute, and I really enjoyed getting to do some of the "motherly" things with them today.
Well, tonight when Kim got home from her show, all the kids needed to bath and get ready for bed. Since Jed was gone, Kim and I did the tag team (which works out really nice). I got Grady and Halie bathed and dressed, and then Gavin wanted mommy to get him ready for bed. So while Kim got him ready, she asked if I wouldn't mind feeding Grady his bedtime bottle.
This is my favorite thing to do with babies... I love snuggling little ones close, wrapping them up, and feeding them. This is one of the things I really looked forward to doing with Branson in our recliner at night...rocking, feeding, singing, cuddling, just being together during those minutes each day. I've heard that feeding time is when a lot of the bonding occurs between mom and baby, and I was so excited for that. In fact, my arms have been so empty at times since we had Branson that they have literally ached. So I was grateful for the chance to snuggle little Grady close one more time. As the two of us sat on the couch tonight all alone, I could see a little bit of Branson in him, the big Anderson head, the cute little nose, the perfect little ears. As I longed for my son I couldn't help shedding tears of lonliness and feel the tug of my heartstrings as they ached for my little guy. As Grady reached up with his precious little hand to touch my nose while he ate, like many little babies do, I couldn't help but picture my little Branson and wish that I would have had that moment with him.
I am grateful to Kim for letting me have some time with just Grady to love him and feel the warmth of a baby in my arms. Kim, thank you for not worrying about leaving me with a baby, thank you for not telling me not to cry. It was nice to be able to shed tears and not have the "watchful, wondering" eyes upon me as I did so. It's what I needed tonight before I go back to my house and see my nursery still waiting. I miss my sweet Branson more than words can say!