"Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have Joy."
2 Nephi 2:25
Since we had Branson I have thought a lot about this scripture. God wants us to experience joy. I've wondered, "Why then are we going through all of this pain, loneliness, and grief?" There have been "joyous" moments through having our son, but there have definitely been moments of great sorrow and days full of heartache as well.
I, like many others, read the book "The Secret". I believe that many of it's principles are true when aligned with gospel principles. However, because of what it teaches, I have repeatedly questioned myself if Rob and I "attracted" this experience. Was I too worried about my pregnancy, was I too concerned about the health of my little boy, did I fear the worst too often? This has really bothered me a lot and for a long time it put a lot of extra weight to the burdens we've carried. I felt like we must be responsible in some way for this "tragedy" that had occured, and that we must have done something to bring this experience upon us.
One day imparticular this was weighing especially heavy on my mind and heart. I went over to a friends house and confided my feelings and thoughts to her. Her response was simple, but has completely changed my perspective on this aspect of this experience. She said, "So what if you did attract this Natalie, look at what you've attracted...an eternal, celestial son! Ya know Natalie, God is concerned with making us holy, more than he is concerned with making us happy."
I loved that! We talked about how Rob and I are experiencing earthly sorrow and mortal pain, but that if we had "attracted" this, we had attracted eternal joy! I felt the spirit so strong. I was amazed at the beauty of the truth she shared with me that day.
There are many things that bring us Earhtly happiness... but there are only a few things we do in this life that can bring us eternal joy, and having an eternal family is one of them! As I reflect now on this concept and the scripture about us experiencing joy, I can see that God has provided that joy for Rob and I in a very real way. I feel now that my concerns and worries about Branson during my pregnancy we probably very normal and motherly. I am thankful for the joyous eternal perspective I've gained. It helps see me through the hard days I face. It gives me hope. I can hardly imagine the joy we'll feel when we are reunited with our sweet son...men are that they might have joy!