Wednesday, February 3, 2010

We Feel You With Us

Dear Branson,
Hello my sweet boy! We miss you so much, and think of you often. It's crazy to think that it's been a year and half since we said our hello's and goodbyes. Although you aren't here with us, we see your influence manifest in our lives. There are numerous occasions when we've known with out doubt that you've been near...protecting, guiding, and loving each of us.

When daddy gave you your name and blessing in the hospital, he blessed you that your spirit would be able to perform the special mission you had been called to serve on the other side. We knew that it was important, and that you would be busy while we spent our time apart. I love to think of you as a missionary...obedient, stalwart, and full of love for the people you serve and teach.

Missionaries here on Earth have full-time companions, and I believe, part-time heavenly companions as well. You have two uncles...Christian and Ryan...who are both serving missions for the Lord right now as well, and both of them have written daddy and I letters recently sharing some special experiences they've had with you. Times when they've been sure that you are serving as their heavenly mission companion.

Their letters are as follow:

From Uncle Christian:
I just wanted to say a few words regarding Branson. It was and has been a special experience I wanted to share with you.
When I was called in the MTC the day that Branson left us, I was saddened. Not saddened for myself, but saddened for all of you back home, and what you all were going through. My heart ached as I tried to understand the situation, and the meaning to a lot of things.
That evening, I knelt in prayer, and cried and poured out my heart to our Father in Heaven. Such a peace that can only be best described as a father comforting his crying child came over me. I felt so peaceful as I climbed into bed.
As I lay there in bed, I rolled things over in my mind. I made sort of a mental promise, one that I have carried with me throughout my mission. The promise was that I would serve as hard as I could, and that I would serve my hardest to make up for the service that my little nephew wasn't able to perform here on earth. I made a connection that it would be two Calls out here serving, not just one.
I kept my CTR ring that you and Rob gave me as a reminder of this. For the first while in my mission, I would put it on as I would put on my badge every morning, just as a reminder.
Unfortunately, the ring was lost, but the memory carries on with me. I still like to think that there are two Calls out here serving, not just one.
So, for all of the service that I have performed out here, I guess you could say Branson has been the silver lining on it all. Although I haven't always remembered him in every second and every act of service, I still remember that evening in the MTC, and I feel very special. The service that I have done can be remembered as a reminder of him.
I just thought you would like to hear about this... it was special as I gained more of my testimony in the MTC of the plan of salvation. As I laid my head on my pillow that evening, and into the morning, I felt assured that families really are forever! This testimony has helped me in my mission, and continues to influence the way I view the Plan of salvation. It has helped me teach The plan of salvation with boldness and confidence, and with an assurity that it is in fact true.
I love you Both, Rob and Nat. You have been outstanding examples to me, and I'm sure to the family as well. Ha, I guess you can say that your strength has helped build our faith as well.
Have a wonderful Christmas!! Enjoy every minute of it, and most of all, remember our Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who has made this all possible to us. I am deeply grateful for the knowledge that this experience that we have had as a family has taught us the most precious truths that our family will be forever! Nothing comes sweeter to the taste, softer to the touch, than this thought.
I love you both... Thanks again for your wonderful examples. you truly are fulfilling the scripture: ''Let your light so shine before the world, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven''.

From Uncle Ryan:
I had a very special experience today. It's Sunday, and I haven't been feeling very well today, and was feeling a bit on the low side. At seven this evening, I went to the fireside which goes on every Sunday. Usually there is a speaker, but today was different. It was a song and testimony meeting. At first, I wasn't too excited about it because I can't really sing with all this nasal stuff going on.
As the meeting proceeded, many different songs were chosen by elders and sisters in the congregation. About half way through, one Elder stood and wanted to sing, "God be with you till we Meet Again." He told us of how he just found out that his best friend back home died this past week. My heart when tout to him.
As we began to sing the song, my thoughts turned to Branson. My little nephew whom I love very much. I thought of the great missionary work he must be doing for our Savior on the other side of the veil. In that moment, the most wonderful feeling of peace and comfort came to me. I knew that I was feeling the spirit, but also the love and presence of Branson. I know he was there with me, giving me comfort while I am on my mission. My emotions were very strong and I couldn't help but cry knowing that we will be able to meet again and be together forever as an eternal family. I was so happy.
Nat and Rob, I love you and your family so much. Thank you for allowing Branson to help me on my mission. He has taught me so much, and I love him very much.
I just wanted to share that wonderful experience with you. I Miss you guys very much. Know that my love and prayers are with you. thank you so much for your love, thoughts, examples, prayers,and most of all; your family. I love you.

Branson. Our hearts are full of joy, as we know that you get to serve, help, and guide your uncles as they serve the Lord as well. We are so proud that you are our little missionary! I'm sure we can't even begin to imagine the number of lives you've touched and hearts you've changed as you share the beautiful message that Christ is our Savior and that through him families can be forever!

God be with you till we meet again!
Love Mom

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Verily I say unto you, ye shall weep and lament, and ye shall be sorrowful, but your Sorrow shall be turned into Joy.
John 16: 20

I have always enjoyed hearing the story of Noah, his family, and the animals that were saved through obedience to God’s command to build a ship and live within it’s protection for the 40 days and nights of flooding rain. However, over the past year and a half I have come to wonder what a tremendous trial it must have been at times for them to endure such a storm. I can’t help but think that those 40 days must have seemed like years at times as they were tossed and thrown about the raging waters. Their hearts must have yearned for what they had lost…the comforts of their home, the brilliant light of the sun, close family and friends who had chosen not to heed the Lord’s command, and the freedom to walk about a land they must have loved. I’m sure there were days, or perhaps even weeks when they questioned the Lord and his plan…they must have asked “the why’s” and “what ifs”. There may have even been days they pleaded with the Lord to let the storm pass and moments when they begged him to restore the joy their hearts once new.

The storm Noah and his family passed through did end. Maybe not as quickly as they had hoped, and perhaps not in the manner they would have chosen, but it did pass.

My favorite part of this story has become the fact that the Lord was obviously mindful of the hardship of their storm. He was so aware that this mission he had asked them to endure was difficult, unpleasant, and trying that he gave them a beautiful gift…a promise. He sent them a sign…the symbol of the rainbow.

He promised them that they, nor any of their family, or posterity to come would ever have to pass through such a storm again. He created the rainbow as the symbol of that covenant…and still today we see evidence of that promise after each rain storm, no matter the severity of the rain.

He didn’t promise them that they’d never pass through anything hard again, or that they’d never be required to sacrifice again on his behalf, but he did covenant that they’d never encounter the flood again.

I now believe that the symbol of the rainbow was so significant and special to Noah and his family because it instilled an added amount of trust in the Lord. It must have given them a great amount of hope as they traveled through other “storms” throughout their lives…hope that at the end of the storm, there would be a “rainbow”.

Perhaps the reason this story is so special to me as of late, is because I can relate to Noah and his beautiful family. My storm started in July of 2008 and raged for many, many months. I tried to be obedient to what the Lord had commanded me, and find protection in him from the tossing sea. There were those days that it seemed the storm would never cease. My heart ached for the beautifully perfect son I had lost, and I often found myself on my knees pleading with the Lord to bring an end to the torment I found myself enduring. I wanted so badly to feel true joy again and to see the beauty clearly around me.

My storm hasn’t completely ended, but the rain has become more of a drizzle than an intense, tumultuous down pour.

However, the Lord has sent me a rainbow…a sign that he is personally aware of my struggles, heartache, and sorrow. A symbol of his love and goodness. My rainbow came in the form of a sweet, healthy, happy baby girl named Brooklyn.

I too know that this rainbow doesn’t mean I’ll never be required to pass through other storms along my journey, but like Noah, it has increased my trust in the Lord’s plan for me and filled my heart with hope…hope that when I encounter another storm and feel it raging around me, that in time...the Lord’s time, there will be a rainbow at the end.

The rainbow might not always come as fast as I desire, or in the manner I would choose, but I pray that I may always have the faith, the trust, and the hope it will require to wait for it.

The Lord is good and I thank him for the rainbow he sent me this year.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

We'd Love to Have You Join Us!

Dear Family and Friends,

What a wonderful time of the year! The Christmas season is once again upon us and we find ourselves fully immersed in the festivities of the holidays. We hope that this letter finds each and everyone of you and your families happy, healthy, and enjoying the things that make this time of year so memorable.

Last year, many of you joined our family as we started a very special tradition, and we invite each of you and many more to join us once again!

Christmas of 2008 was our first Christmas without little Branson here to join us in our holiday celebrations. Rob and I wanted to start a tradition that would honor his memory and allow his sweet, pure spirit to be a part of this special time of year. We decided to buy a stocking, with his name embroidered on it...and fill it completely full...with love. How you might ask, with simple acts of love given to those around us through acts of service.

Together Rob and I really focused on having our eyes and our hearts open to people around us in need, and then perform a small act of service in Branson's memory for them. Each night we would write those small acts down on paper and put them in Branson's stocking. We also decided to invite our family and friends to join us in the effort of filling his stocking to the brim.

We were humbled and amazed as we received emails throughout the holiday season from people we've known for years, and even strangers we've never met. The acts of love ranged from giving a hug to someone having a hard day, a little boy letting his brother play with his favorite toy, to people donating money in Branson's name to a charity, or making goodies for a friend.

On Christmas eve we sat down together and pulled our each little strip of paper and read them, and then after the holidays were over I made a special Christmas Memories book where we scrap booked pages and pages with each little piece. Each time we look at the book we are filled with joy and peace. We were so honored that all of you would participate with us in such selfless ways! It was a Christmas to remember for sure!

So we invite you once again to join us as we begin to add those small acts of love to our little boy's stocking. We know that all of you do so many good things, especially during this season. What we ask, is that you choose one time specifically to perform an act of service for someone and do it with Branson in mind. Then, email me explaining what you did, your name, and location. Then I will print it and it to his stocking and eventually his memory book.

We hope that as you do this your heart will be filled with love and your holiday season will be brightened. We love each of you and appreciate your continued friendship, love, and support. Merry Christmas!

Love, Rob.Natalie.Branson.Brooklyn Call

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Being Rescued

Today in Sunday School our discussion was on the handcart pioneers that traveled from the East to Salt Lake City to join the saints already in the valley, and more specifically, the Martin and Willey Handcart Companies. Needless to say, I was moved and touched by the accounts of their journey that were shared. I was humbled by the unconditional faith that was shown during this difficult, and what seems to me overwhelming circumstances, and their unwavering commitment to follow the call of a prophet.

Many people lost their loved ones along the journey, and many of those were mothers who lost their little ones. Little ones that were buried in frozen, shallow graves. No stone to mark their resting spot.

Perhaps this is why I sat in tears today, because in a special way I can somewhat relate to those mothers and the heartache they felt at loosing their little ones. Perhaps I sat there in tears because although I can relate to the heartache, I can't imagine the circumstances they lost them and eventually buried them in. I can't imagine lying my baby in one of those shallow graves only to leave it behind hours later, knowing I would never see that place again, and even worse that wolves would most likely find, and dig through the ground to the little body that lie below.

Those lives that were spared were eventually rescued by saints from the Salt Lake Valley, who upon hearing of the perilous situation these saints faced as winter drew near, immediately left to offer food, clothing, and aid that was so desperately needed. They rescued these people by doing for them what they could not do on their own.

Perhaps I sat there in tears as I questioned why? Why is it that bad things happen to good people...good people following the Lord's command to make this journey? Good people who had done all in their power to do what was right. Good people who had already sacrificed physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Good people who had righteous desires.

Like these pioneers, there are good people around us that suffer sorrow, heartache, and pain. Good people who like these pioneers do all in their power to do what's asked of them, to follow the Lord's plan, and people who have righteous desires.

As I sat there, overcome with emotion in class, asking the spirit to teach me...the teacher posed just this question...

"Why does God allow good people to experience sorrow?"

I continued to contemplate this question in my mind and these are the thoughts that came....

There will undoubtedly come times in our lives when we will not be able to do something on our own...there will be trials that put us in the middle of our own "handcart" journey. There will come a time when we will need to be rescued...perhaps not physically like these pioneers were, but emotionally or spiritually speaking we will need to be rescued.

Like the saints that brought aid to these destitute pioneers, the Lord will send people to rescue us and provide things we can not provide for ourselves. As we allow others to offer aid, to teach us, to help us, and to love us... we begin to grow...we grow into someone and something more refined than before. We enter the "refiners fire", the fire that allows us to become more like the people God knows we can become.

But perhaps the most powerful reason God "allows" good people to experience hard things is because the only person who can truly and completely "rescue" us is the Savior...and having the opportunity to decide for ourselves if we'll let that rescue occur is vital part of our mortal journey.

Unfortunately, often times as humans, it takes these seemingly insurmountable trials to humble us enough to a point where we can see for ourselves that we need to be rescued...humble enough that we allow Him in to do the rescuing that can come only through His personal atonement.

I believe that God knows that each of us need to experience the atonement in a very real, personal way. Whether it's through the repenting and forsaking of sin, finding strength and comfort through loosing a loved one, finding the courage to fight the battle of cancer, or whatever our "handcart journey" maybe...we need to experience the Savior's atoning sacrifice.

We need to experience the beauty of his love, and the tenderness of his care. We need to experience the healing he provides and the peace he offers. We need to see the beauty that resides behind the cloud and the completeness of the plan he has for us.

So, I think that we're "allowed" to pass through the hard, to experience become more.

Although I miss Branson more today than I did yesterday, I am thankful for the reason I have to be rescued. Healing from the loss of our son is something I can not do on my own. I don't have the strength, the power, or all the answers to even attempt to rescue myself. However, I'm learning that as Christ and I work together, healing can happen. I see more and more each day that it is through his atonement that my heart and soul can be rescued from the pain.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Love This

Today while I was doing some studying, I came across this quote on grief...and I love it!

"First, please know that grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning. Hence, what a grieving parent can expect to receive from the Lord in response to earnest supplication may not necessarily be an elimination of grief so much as a sweet reassurance that, whatever his or her circumstances, one’s child is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father."
Lance B. Wickman

This describes perfectly why grief is such an important part of healing from the loss of a child. I have often wanted the Lord to take away the grief and the pain associated with it, however, after reading this and coming to a realization that the only way to avoid the grief that we have felt over the last 12 months would be to have never experienced the love...

I can't imagine my life now without the love I have for little boy. I am amazed so often at the simple ways Heavenly Father reminds me that although the loss of our little one is heart-wrenching, painful, and hard to accept...that it was done, ultimately, out of love for us and Branson. I open my arms wide to welcome the grief, for with that grief comes the incredible, powerful love that only a mother can have for her child. I would never forgo the grief if it meant forgoing our experience with Branson.

So today, I'll pray for that "sweet assurance" to know that our child "is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father".

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

We Remember

Today, we remember...remember the day we spent with Branson...remember the moments we shared, the emotions we felt...remember how it felt to hold him in our arms. Some of those moments are so fresh, it seems as if it was yesterday, and others have slowly started to fade. One thing is for sure...we love him more today than we did yesterday, and we have no doubt we'll love him more tomorrow than we do today.

There are no words to express how much we miss Branson. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think about him, and wonder what might have been...

We woke up this morning with heaviness in our hearts and an aching in our arms. We drove to a beautiful park nearby where we spent an hour walking and talking. We shed tears as we shared our favorite memories of that day, and smiled as we remembered how perfect and beautiful he was. There were moments that day that were full of sorrow, and others where we were consumed by peace. If I could relive it again...I would. But, because I can't, I just cherish what we had that day.

Our goal over the last year has been to celebrate what was, and not let ourselves get lost in what was not. At times, that's been extremely hard to do...and there have been days when I've let the "what if's" and "why me's" win. But, there have been many days and many moments when we've been able to start amazing traditions and celebrate his short life.

As his birthday approached, we again wanted it to be a day we could remember the heartache, sorrow, and lonliness we've felt...but a day we could celebrate the hope, joy, and anticipation we feel in knowing that we'll be with him again. We wanted to start a tradition we can carry on in future years with our other children.

So, on Sunday, we were in Richfield with many family members and friends...and we wanted all of them to be a part of his party. We planned to have a BBQ at my parents home and a balloon release at his graveside. It was hard to accept that this was cake being destroyed by a little boy, or presents being torn open... However, it was beautiful for what it was.

Family BBQ

At the Graveside
Our dear friend Tyler put together this beautiful video of that day for us.
(Make sure your sound is on, and give it a few minutest to load. If you have problems loading, the video can also be seen on Branson's website by clicking on the Happy Birthday Button at the top.))

Thank you Tyler for putting together such a touching tribute.

My little brother Ryan wrote the song that's playing in the background for Branson's funeral. It's called "Waiting"...amazing and perfect. He sang it at the graveside after we let the balloons go. Thanks Ry.

Thank you to all of our family and friends who were there, some of them drove long distances and it meant so much to have you there. Thank you for realizing and validating how real and special Branson is.

And last...Happy Birthday Branson...we love you more than you'll ever know.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some Great Give Aways

Having so many, friends, and people we've never even met...reach out to our family in such a selfless way through our "Peace of Mind Fund" has been truly amazing. We stand in awe at the goodness of others, and we are truly humbled by the outpouring of love and support we have received. There are no words to express the love and gratitude we feel toward each one of you.

Being able to visit Dr. Collins in August would be a dream come true. A dream that would stay just that, a dream without all of you. Having the peace of mind that will come from knowing a specialist is monitoring the health and well-being of our baby girl will be truly priceless. We look forward to sharing this journey with each of you, through this blog, as we make the trip to Louisianna to visit Dr. Collins, and venture home with the monitoring system. We'll be sure to post lots of pictures and updates on our progress as we go along, as we now feel that each of you deserve to be part of that special journey.

As part of this amazing blog, people have recently donated some amazingly cute things that you can get in on. If you've already donated you can put your name in, and if you'd like to donate you can have the chance to win some of these things as well. Click on the button below to find out more about how it all works.

We'd like to send out a big thank you to all the talented people that have made something to donate on our behalf. You are amazing people with so much to share!

We want you to know that every night we pray that God's choicest blessings will be yours...we plead that each of you, in a personal...specific way, will be blessed for your generous contribution. We also pray that we'll be blessed with opportunities now...and in the future that will allow us to pay your kindness forward to others.

All our Love- Rob and Natalie Call

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Overcoming Fear

Emotions are a powerful thing aren't they? Each and every one real...raw. Experiencing the loss of a child has magnified every emotion. Some emotions I have welcomed with open arms, and others I have wanted to push away.

During the months since Branson's passing, I have spent a lot of time thinking about emotions. I have concluded that we experience them all...the good, the bad, the hard...for a reason, and I personally think that reason is so we can become more like Jesus Christ.

The mission we choose to accept by coming to this Earth was to learn, to grow, and to become more like Him and our Father in Heaven.

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect."
St. Matthew 5:48

This is our ultimate goal after all isn't it? To become perfect even as he is? For me, this process will take much longer than the time I will be given here on Earth. At times that charge seems daunting, impossible, and downright unachievable. The beautiful thing about our Father, is that he doesn't expect us to do it alone. He sent his son.

His son is our exemplar...the only human being to walk the Earth in utter perfection. His son is our truest friend...there for us every step of the way. His son is our mediator...our personal link to the father. His son is our is only through him that this perfection can be reached. For, through his atonement, he has made up where we will assuredly fall short.

So, in time spent thinking about the Savior, I have learned a few things about emotion. First, he has felt and experienced every single emotion so he could perfectly understand us, but he also "overcame" them...mastered them to a perfect continue in his perfection.

So, as I've struggled with such emotions as anger, doubt, disbelief, abandonment, loneliness, and emptiness I have tried to do a few things. First, let myself experience those emotions...for they are real. Bottling them up inside, or pretending they aren't there, would only deceive myself...but for how long?

Second, allow myself to "process" each emotion...why am I feeling that way?...what lead me to this emotion? do I function when I feel this way?...what purpose does this emotion serve for me right now?

Third, don't let myself get "stuck" there. Although I believe each emotion is a gift from God, they can also be a tool of Satan's. He wants me to get "stuck" in the negative, to dwell there.

Fourth, and perhaps the hardest step for me, is to let my faith and trust in God help me overcome the emotion...instead of letting the emotion overcome me.

These four things have helped me tremendously in the past. Yet, lately I am facing a new...but very strong emotion...fear. And, I am having a very difficult time not letting that emotion overcome me.

Fear in itself scares me...isn't that ironic? I am filled with fear that his baby girl won't be able to stay with us...that once again I'll be left with empty arms. I fear that I'll do something to harm her. I fear that her heart will stop beating. I fear that I'll never hear her scream, or see smile. But perhaps what I fear most is not knowing what God's will is for us and this little one.

This is the hardest emotion for me to move past...I feel like I'm getting stuck. Yet, I also feel myself wanting to pull away from it...but how?

I have been able to find examples in the scriptures where Christ felt many of these different emotions, but was there an example when Christ felt fear? As I thought about it, a scripture came to mind:

"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
St. Matthew 26:39

I believe that Christ knew that suffering for our sins and feeling every pain, emotion, and sickness we would be asked to bear was part of his purpose. Yet, as I thought about this scripture the other day, I wondered as that moment arrived in the Garden of Gethsemane if Christ might have felt a little fear...anxiety of not knowing the full extent of the suffering he was about to endure. Perhaps it was that fear that led Him to ask the Father to "let this cup pass from me".

So yes, I think Christ felt fear...he experienced it, he felt it's power.

Yet he refused to let that fear overcome him and his purpose...he overcame it with his faith and trust in His Father..."not as I will, but as thou wilt". He may have feared what lay before him, but he never doubted that His Father knew best. I believe that it was through this submission and show of faith that he overcame his fear.

It's strange, because I feel closer to my Father in Heaven than ever before...yet, I think that perhaps I still lack complete trust in his plan for me...that complete trust that the Savior obviously had. That's where I need to work...I need to use the knowledge that I have about God's perfect love, about his eternal purposes, and about my personal relationship with him to make that trust complete.

In the meantime, I'll find peace in the Savior's understanding and comfort through knowing he's there, and I'll enjoy the love, excitement, joy and hope that I feel when she's stirring inside.

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you..."
D&C 68:6

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Another Earthly Angel

As we've began the journey down a new road, a road that involves a new pregnancy, and a new life stirring inside, we've felt a range of emotion from elation, joy, hope, and anticipation to emotions of doubt, anxiety, and fear. Wanting and hoping so badly that this little spirit will be able to stay with us, we have spent time on our knees as we plead with our Heavenly Father that our will and his will be one.

We know that Branson died due to a cord accident, however, we also know that his death was no accident. We have found peace and hope in that knowledge. 

Yet, as we wait for October to come,  we can't just sit by and hope for something different. Doing nothing won't calm the worries, or put an end to our fears. We feel that it is after we "do" all that we can, that the Savior is able to take us in his hands and make up the create a miracle in the form of a kicking, screaming, healthy baby girl. 

And so, we have read and researched...we have learned. In that learning we have come to know of a Dr. Collins in Louisiana who specializes in infant death due to cord accidents. His work is amazing and his mission important. He works to educate those in the medical profession about the reality of being able to prevent fatal cord accidents with the right training and proper monitoring of expectant mothers. 

He offers a service in which mothers who have previously lost a child to a cord accident, fly toLouisiana between the 28-30 weeks of a subsequent pregnancy, where he performs an extensive ultrasound. During that time he studies the baby and the cord, and he is able to determine if the cord is wrapped or knotted at that time. Then, he sends each mother home with a "home monitoring system". Each night, the mother wraps this monitor around the belly while sleeping and a machine records the baby's heartbeat and any contractions that you may be having. Then the information is emailed to Dr. Collins each morning. As he watches and analyzes the data that is sent to him, he is able to detect problems with the cord before those problems cause fatality. 

Since learning about this, I have had a great desire to participate in Dr. Collins work. The peace of Mind that would come from knowing that someone who is trained to recognize any potential problems is monitoring the health of my sweet baby would be truly priceless. Unfortunately, this program has a price tag. 

A dear friend, Amy, that also lost a beautiful little girl, Alexis, due to a cord accident is the one that sent me the information about Dr. Collins. She has been an amazing friend through everything, as she understands and relates so personally to what we face each day. She has set up a miraculous blog on our behalf. A blog called "A Peace of Mind". She emailed me just a few days ago, saying that she wanted to help make this visit with Dr. Collins happen...and that there are so many people who want to help in some small way. She invites you to visit the blog where you can find out more about Dr. Collins and some different ways you can help. 

My hope is that as others learn about Dr. Collins, more lives may be saved, more doctors will become educated, and more mothers will have a peace of mind.
Thank you Amy for being an Earthly Angel, and for serving a friend in such a selfless way. 

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Beautiful Promise

I have been missing my little boy a lot lately. I was lying in bed a few days ago, just wishing that I could have just even 15 min. with him. 15 min to hug. 15 min for him to give me added insight and a broader eternal perspective. 15 min for me to express my love to my little boy. 15 min for him to comfort his mommy. As I shed tears of loneliness, I felt impressed to read my
patriarchal blessing.
(Follow this link to learn more about this)

Since receiving my beautiful blessing at the age of 14, it has provided comfort, instruction, and direction in my life. However, since Branson's passing, it has been a gift I have grown to treasure and appreciate more than almost anything. It has become something that my heart and mind cling to, as I know that it comes from my Heavenly Father, filled with words of love and encouragement. It speaks to my soul.

It is filled with beautiful blessings that are promised to be mine as I seek to align my life's path with the will of the Lord and the commandments of God. At different times in my life, different parts of my blessing have been especially meaningful and helpful. Each time I read it, I find something's been there all along, but it's meaning and significance has changed. As I read through it the other night, there was one phrase that brought me the added peace and assurance I was seeking.

It stands as a paragraph of it's own:
"I bless you, Natalie, that your Guardian Angel will always be close to you."

I was overcome with the feeling that Branson is that Guardian Angel...that I get much more than those 15 min I was wishing for...I get a beautiful, angel son to watch over me and my family. An angel that has been promised to always be close.

Since that day, when I start to wonder "what if", I remember that beautiful blessing and I'm reminded of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. I love so perfect, that he saw fit to add a simple, one line promise some 13 years ago that would change my life today.

This promise got me through my first Mother's Day without my little boy, as I knew he would be close.