Sunday, November 9, 2008

Worth a Thousand Words...

This picture is truly worth a thousand words. Rob's brother Trevor drew it and gave it to us the night before Branson's memorial service. I now have it hanging in our Hallway.
This picture says it perfectly without saying anything at all. I love how Trevor was able to capture some of the many emotions we felt that day. Love, pain, joy, sadness, heartache, pride, and parental care. I feel as though the Saviors face also portrays his understanding and acceptance of all these emotions, as it almost beckons our patience and promises that one day he will make us whole as this miracle will come full circle.
Perhaps my favorite part about this picture is that Christ's robe falls down and surrounds Branson as we hold him in our arms. There is no doubt that Christ was with us every step of the way those few first, heartbreaking days. We especially felt his love and peace that day when we met our eternal, celestial son.
I have thought often about the exchange that took place that day. We know without a doubt Branson's spirit was with us. I have never felt anything so pure and real in my life. People have often said to us "You look so at peace in your pictures." I'm not quite sure how to explain the intense emotions and feelings of that day to those who weren't there. Although there were moments of great sorrow, and letting our son go was definitely the hardest thing we've ever done physically, spiritually, and emotionally, there was a constant feeling of peace and an assuring spirit that this was right and we would be okay.
I often find myself wanting to go back to that day for many reasons. I want more than anything to hold my little boy in my arms again. I want to look at his perfect little nose, and tiny little ears. I want to rub his little toes, and put my cheek against his once more. I want to see Rob holding his son again and looking like the proudest daddy in the world. I also want to go back to that day and capture the peace that was with us in a bottle. Perhaps if I could do that I could open it and partake of a little of that peace on the hard days. That day was perfect and tragic...if that's even possible.
However, there was a very poignant moment when Branson's spirit returned to his Heavenly home. I imagine, just as this picture depicts, that as Branson left our arms, he was returned to the loving arms of the Savior. I find a lot of peace in knowing that Branson is being taken care of by the best "babysitters" there is, and although the mortal mother in me is a little jealous, I know that he is completely consumed with love and peace.
I look forward to the day that this exchange will occur once again. However, this time the exchange will be permanent...eternal. I can't even begin to imagine the joy that will overcome us as we approach the Savior and see our little boy swaddled in his loving arms. As Branson is returned to our arms, I am sure we will want to hold him close and never let go. In that moment our eternal family will be reunited, never to be separated again. I believe our eyes will be opened to the awesome mission that he has performed during this time of separation. I imagine that I'll thank the Savior for taking care of my son and embrace him with the love that only a mother could have for someone who has watched over and taken care of her son. I hope that as my gaze meets the Savior's that he can say, "Daughter, be of good comfort; they faith hath made thee whole."
Trevor, thank you for depicting perfectly what my eternal eyes behold when I think about my son and the love the Savior feels for me, Rob, and Branson. Your portrayal of this special day says it all!


Gordon said...

Oh dear Natalie, I have so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am so grateful for the very real gift you have been given to put into words the thoughts and feelings of your heart. It is so perfect and good as you are I'm sure you have had some help...I'm sure you have felt his presence. May the Lord and Branson continue to bless you I pray. Thank you again the strength you muster to compose such a beautiful and inspiring account of the "Healing Process" you are going threw.
I love you,

The Loveridge Family said...


This picture is so beautiful! What a talented brother. I love that you have this blog. It's so amazing to read your feelings as you try to heal your heart. I think that I can almost feel all of these same feelings.