Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Our Angel Sent...

Dear Branson,

Daddy and I can't tell you how excited we are to meet the newest member of our family that will be joining us at the end of October! Since the beginning of our marriage, our greatest desire has been to have a family. As you know, that road has been a difficult one. We waited, what seemed to be, five very long years to discover that you would be joining our family.

Although our time with you was much shorter than we had hoped and planned...we have felt so blessed to have our dreams of having a family come true through your miraculous life. We feel the love of parents, I experience the worry of a mother, and we find it truly amazing to be parents of such a valiant spirit. We are continually humbled as we recognize and come to appreciate what we have gained, what we've learned, and what we've shared with you despite the heartbreaking loss we have experienced.

Even during your time with us in my belly, daddy and I would talk about what it would be like meet you and what it would be like to someday meet your younger brothers and sisters. We both come from amazing families and have close relationships with our siblings, and we desired that for you.

Since your passing, daddy and I have had empty arms and aching hearts. There have been moments that all I've wanted is another baby...to be pregnant again. There have also been times when all I want is you back...I don't want another baby, I just want you. We've worried we won't be able to love another child like we love you... we've worried that our next baby won't be nearly as cute as you are... we've just worried.

Through time, we are learning to accept your life and mission and we have become more and more excited at the thoughts of welcoming another member into our eternal family.

Every night daddy and I pray for you. We pray that you'll be close to us...we pray that you will be continually valiant and courageous as you fulfill your mission at this time...we pray that you'll feel of our love for you...and we pray that you'll never forget that we're here trying our best to get back to you.

Ever night we have also prayed that when the timing was right that we would be blessed with another baby. We've put a lot of trust in the Lord to know when that time would be. We've prayed that you might be able to play a special role in this miracle when it would come.

The day that I took the pregnancy test, I fell to my knees in gratitude and love for the miracle we were witnessing. I talked to you and to Heavenly Father about my excitement, my gratitude, and my overwhelming love for both you. I just couldn't wait to tell daddy the great news when he got home that night.

As daddy opened the lost box that had the pregnancy test wrapped inside, his eyes filled with tears, and together we shed tears of joy.

Throughout the time that I've been pregnant, I have felt you close. There have been days when I find myself reminiscing about you and how I felt at this time when you were with me. I find myself missing you so much. I also find myself filled with amazement at this gift that I'm sure you were a part of.

Daddy and I now pray that this new little spirit will be allowed to stay with us here on the Earth. However, we also pray that this spirit will be special...special enough to feel you close to them throughout their life...special enough to recognize what an incredible older brother they have...special enough to realize that although daddy and I will have bitter/sweet moments as we watch them grow and miss you at the same time, that it's because we love you both so much...special enough to know we are sad your not with us, but elated that they are.

Branson...thank you for playing a part in this miraculous gift. Thank you for watching out for us. Thank you for being such a special part of our family. Enjoy all the time you'll have with your little brother/sister before they join us...cause lots of trouble, do lots of good, and make lots of memories together.

We can't wait to meet them. We can only hope the baby is as special and beautiful as you are.

All My Love,
Mommy

20 comments:

Brittany said...

I am so excited for you both!!!

Daisy said...

Congratulations for both of you! I'm happy for you and I pray that everything goes well throughout your pregnancy.

Memmott Family said...

I too am excited for you both, and Congratulations. We will keep you in our prayers.
Love
Liz

Tifani said...

How wonderful! Congratulations to you and your husband. I will pray that the Lord will watch over you and your baby during this pregnancy. I look forward to reading about your progress.


p.s I went private on Micah's blog. If you would like to look at it still just send me your info. enduringwell@gmail.com

The Perry Family said...

Congrats! I am so excited for you!

Loretta Valenta said...

Oh Natalie and Rob -- what wonderful news!!! I cried all the way through your blog post -- so happy that you will welcome another angel into you home and your hearts. I can hardly wait to tell Tim your news when he wakes up -- he will be so happy for you as well! We love you both so much and are grateful for your example of such faith! What a blessing it is to us to know you! What a beautiful day it is knowing your news!

The Holland Family said...

Congratulations to you. I'm so happy for you and will pray that everything goes well. Your post was beautiful. Love, Nicole - Mia's mom ^i^

Emily and Jens said...

YEAH!!! I have been so excited ever since you called. I am so happy for you and Rob. Even more since we're due so close to eachother...we'll be having little buddies :) love you Nat...EMILY

Lindsay said...

Oh how wonderful for your family! I am so excited for you to experience another sweet little spirit. Having a little baby smile up at you can melt your heart and give you peace. Good luck and we will be praying for you.

him, her, or the other one said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! I have no other words to say! (goofy rhyme) I am so excited I can not contain my job...it has been spilling out all over the place!

April said...

TEARS! Wow that was so neat and I am so excited for you. You both deserve another little baby so much. I think Branson really did send you a special gift. I hope things are well. Wow you must be far? Good luck. YOu'll be in our prayers. It gives me hope that other angel mommies can have more babies and feel good about it. Thank you.

Jed and Kimberly Anderson said...

I have been on a high since you told us the news last Sunday!!! I am so excited for your family to grow! What a sweet letter that you have written. You both are such great parents and I know that the Lord is always with you and watching over your two beautiful children. I hope that you will enjoy this time with your new little one! You are always in our prayers and thoughts!!

Kandie and Steve said...

I haven't been able to stop thinking about you guys since we heard the exciting news. Thank you for your enduring example. You both deserve the best. Since we last talked I was thinking about Branson, and I want you to know we will never forget him, and what a strong special spirit he is. We love your family, and can't wait to see who the next special spirit is and get to know and love them too. Hurray!! We love you all.

Jackie A. said...

Dear Natalie,
The perfectness of your words here makes me hesitate to even do a comment. I love so much everthing that you write on this blog and it touches me in ways that I am unable to express to you or anyone becaue they are so personal and so close to the spirit. I just want you to know that Branson is aware of this blog and the things you are writing here and that he is very close by....just like you said. He is a huge part of this miracle of being able to have another baby. He wants you to be happy and have joy and he loves you so much. I know that the heavens are rejoicing right along with us about another baby coming to join your eternal family. What a glorious time this is for us!!! There simply are no words to express my love and thanks to Heavenly Father for allowing this miracle to happen in such a timely manner. I KNOW that our Savior is aware of our needs and that this was a way to let us know they are near us and know what we are experiencing here. I'm so excited and thrilled and can't wait!!!! I love being a loving, spoiling, have fun grandma!!! Love, MOM

Kim Call said...

I am still smiling! I can't help it. I am so excited for you to have this little bundle to love. And I smile because you wonder if its possible to love someone as much as we love Branson. I'm sure that you already know that it is...and soon this little spirit will be here and you will love as the Lord loves; the capacity to love grows with each child heaven sends - I can testify of that. Such joy as you have never experienced awaits you! We will continue to pray that it will be so.

Gordon said...

Dear Natalie,
Over the last week I have thought about alot of things. I have had alot of words come to my mind as I have thought about you and your new phase of life...words like "thrilled, grateful, happy, humbled, and many others, but the one that seems to fit the best is "joy". JOY seems to encompass all of the others and from what I understand it is the word that best describes the emotion that we knew and used to describe the things that made us joyful as we lived with Heavenly Father. Maybe that was kind of deep but we are taught in the temple that if we are faithful we will have "joy in our posterity". I am grateful I could know this deep and lasting emotion... and I am grateful beyond my ability to tell you how excited I am to meet Branson's little sibling.
I love you both, can't wait to see you.
Dad

Ashley said...

Congratulations! No one deserves this more than you! I pray things will go perfect for you in this pregnancy!

The Belnaps said...

I am in tears as I am reading this. You are amazing. I was talking to Kim this morning about my friend who is expecting and has just found out her baby is not expected to make it longer than about 20 weeks. She is 17 weeks now. It is her 2nd child and a girl. She has been praying for a girl. There are no girl grandchildren in her family. Kim told me about your website and I know it will help her so much. Congrats on your wonderful news. I am also expecting and am just a couple of weeks ahead of you. This is Ashley (Christensen)Belnap bytheway. Thanks again. This is amazing and I'm sure it helps so many people

Devin Anderson said...

Nat,
I love the letter that you wrote little Branson! He has the best mom in the whole world!!
I'm glad that the white castle restaurant, and I could work our magic!! You know......
Love you sister!!
Uncle Dev

Karm said...

Just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day Natalie!