Being Rescued

Today in Sunday School our discussion was on the handcart pioneers that traveled from the East to Salt Lake City to join the saints already in the valley, and more specifically, the Martin and Willey Handcart Companies. Needless to say, I was moved and touched by the accounts of their journey that were shared. I was humbled by the unconditional faith that was shown during this difficult, and what seems to me overwhelming circumstances, and their unwavering commitment to follow the call of a prophet.

Many people lost their loved ones along the journey, and many of those were mothers who lost their little ones. Little ones that were buried in frozen, shallow graves. No stone to mark their resting spot.

Perhaps this is why I sat in tears today, because in a special way I can somewhat relate to those mothers and the heartache they felt at loosing their little ones. Perhaps I sat there in tears because although I can relate to the heartache, I can't imagine the circumstances they lost them and eventually buried them in. I can't imagine lying my baby in one of those shallow graves only to leave it behind hours later, knowing I would never see that place again, and even worse that wolves would most likely find, and dig through the ground to the little body that lie below.

Those lives that were spared were eventually rescued by saints from the Salt Lake Valley, who upon hearing of the perilous situation these saints faced as winter drew near, immediately left to offer food, clothing, and aid that was so desperately needed. They rescued these people by doing for them what they could not do on their own.

Perhaps I sat there in tears as I questioned why? Why is it that bad things happen to good people...good people following the Lord's command to make this journey? Good people who had done all in their power to do what was right. Good people who had already sacrificed physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Good people who had righteous desires.

Like these pioneers, there are good people around us that suffer sorrow, heartache, and pain. Good people who like these pioneers do all in their power to do what's asked of them, to follow the Lord's plan, and people who have righteous desires.

As I sat there, overcome with emotion in class, asking the spirit to teach me...the teacher posed just this question...

"Why does God allow good people to experience sorrow?"

I continued to contemplate this question in my mind and these are the thoughts that came....

There will undoubtedly come times in our lives when we will not be able to do something on our own...there will be trials that put us in the middle of our own "handcart" journey. There will come a time when we will need to be rescued...perhaps not physically like these pioneers were, but emotionally or spiritually speaking we will need to be rescued.

Like the saints that brought aid to these destitute pioneers, the Lord will send people to rescue us and provide things we can not provide for ourselves. As we allow others to offer aid, to teach us, to help us, and to love us... we begin to grow...we grow into someone and something more refined than before. We enter the "refiners fire", the fire that allows us to become more like the people God knows we can become.

But perhaps the most powerful reason God "allows" good people to experience hard things is because the only person who can truly and completely "rescue" us is the Savior...and having the opportunity to decide for ourselves if we'll let that rescue occur is vital part of our mortal journey.

Unfortunately, often times as humans, it takes these seemingly insurmountable trials to humble us enough to a point where we can see for ourselves that we need to be rescued...humble enough that we allow Him in to do the rescuing that can come only through His personal atonement.

I believe that God knows that each of us need to experience the atonement in a very real, personal way. Whether it's through the repenting and forsaking of sin, finding strength and comfort through loosing a loved one, finding the courage to fight the battle of cancer, or whatever our "handcart journey" maybe...we need to experience the Savior's atoning sacrifice.

We need to experience the beauty of his love, and the tenderness of his care. We need to experience the healing he provides and the peace he offers. We need to see the beauty that resides behind the cloud and the completeness of the plan he has for us.

So, I think that we're "allowed" to pass through the hard, to experience more...to become more.

Although I miss Branson more today than I did yesterday, I am thankful for the reason I have to be rescued. Healing from the loss of our son is something I can not do on my own. I don't have the strength, the power, or all the answers to even attempt to rescue myself. However, I'm learning that as Christ and I work together, healing can happen. I see more and more each day that it is through his atonement that my heart and soul can be rescued from the pain.

Love This

Today while I was doing some studying, I came across this quote on grief...and I love it!

"First, please know that grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning. Hence, what a grieving parent can expect to receive from the Lord in response to earnest supplication may not necessarily be an elimination of grief so much as a sweet reassurance that, whatever his or her circumstances, one’s child is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father."
Lance B. Wickman


This describes perfectly why grief is such an important part of healing from the loss of a child. I have often wanted the Lord to take away the grief and the pain associated with it, however, after reading this and coming to a realization that the only way to avoid the grief that we have felt over the last 12 months would be to have never experienced the love...

I can't imagine my life now without the love I have for Branson...my little boy. I am amazed so often at the simple ways Heavenly Father reminds me that although the loss of our little one is heart-wrenching, painful, and hard to accept...that it was done, ultimately, out of love for us and Branson. I open my arms wide to welcome the grief, for with that grief comes the incredible, powerful love that only a mother can have for her child. I would never forgo the grief if it meant forgoing our experience with Branson.

So today, I'll pray for that "sweet assurance" to know that our child "is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father".

We Remember

Today, we remember...remember the day we spent with Branson...remember the moments we shared, the emotions we felt...remember how it felt to hold him in our arms. Some of those moments are so fresh, it seems as if it was yesterday, and others have slowly started to fade. One thing is for sure...we love him more today than we did yesterday, and we have no doubt we'll love him more tomorrow than we do today.


There are no words to express how much we miss Branson. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think about him, and wonder what might have been...

We woke up this morning with heaviness in our hearts and an aching in our arms. We drove to a beautiful park nearby where we spent an hour walking and talking. We shed tears as we shared our favorite memories of that day, and smiled as we remembered how perfect and beautiful he was. There were moments that day that were full of sorrow, and others where we were consumed by peace. If I could relive it again...I would. But, because I can't, I just cherish what we had that day.

Our goal over the last year has been to celebrate what was, and not let ourselves get lost in what was not. At times, that's been extremely hard to do...and there have been days when I've let the "what if's" and "why me's" win. But, there have been many days and many moments when we've been able to start amazing traditions and celebrate his short life.

As his birthday approached, we again wanted it to be a day we could remember the heartache, sorrow, and lonliness we've felt...but a day we could celebrate the hope, joy, and anticipation we feel in knowing that we'll be with him again. We wanted to start a tradition we can carry on in future years with our other children.

So, on Sunday, we were in Richfield with many family members and friends...and we wanted all of them to be a part of his party. We planned to have a BBQ at my parents home and a balloon release at his graveside. It was hard to accept that this was it...no cake being destroyed by a little boy, or presents being torn open... However, it was beautiful for what it was.

Family BBQ

At the Graveside
Our dear friend Tyler put together this beautiful video of that day for us.
(Make sure your sound is on, and give it a few minutest to load. If you have problems loading, the video can also be seen on Branson's website www.bransonjackcall.com by clicking on the Happy Birthday Button at the top.))


Thank you Tyler for putting together such a touching tribute.

My little brother Ryan wrote the song that's playing in the background for Branson's funeral. It's called "Waiting"...amazing and perfect. He sang it at the graveside after we let the balloons go. Thanks Ry.

Thank you to all of our family and friends who were there, some of them drove long distances and it meant so much to have you there. Thank you for realizing and validating how real and special Branson is.

And last...Happy Birthday Branson...we love you more than you'll ever know.

Some Great Give Aways

Having so many people...family, friends, and people we've never even met...reach out to our family in such a selfless way through our "Peace of Mind Fund" has been truly amazing. We stand in awe at the goodness of others, and we are truly humbled by the outpouring of love and support we have received. There are no words to express the love and gratitude we feel toward each one of you.

Being able to visit Dr. Collins in August would be a dream come true. A dream that would stay just that, a dream without all of you. Having the peace of mind that will come from knowing a specialist is monitoring the health and well-being of our baby girl will be truly priceless. We look forward to sharing this journey with each of you, through this blog, as we make the trip to Louisianna to visit Dr. Collins, and venture home with the monitoring system. We'll be sure to post lots of pictures and updates on our progress as we go along, as we now feel that each of you deserve to be part of that special journey.

As part of this amazing blog, people have recently donated some amazingly cute things that you can get in on. If you've already donated you can put your name in, and if you'd like to donate you can have the chance to win some of these things as well. Click on the button below to find out more about how it all works.

We'd like to send out a big thank you to all the talented people that have made something to donate on our behalf. You are amazing people with so much to share!

We want you to know that every night we pray that God's choicest blessings will be yours...we plead that each of you, in a personal...specific way, will be blessed for your generous contribution. We also pray that we'll be blessed with opportunities now...and in the future that will allow us to pay your kindness forward to others.

All our Love- Rob and Natalie Call

Overcoming Fear

Emotions are a powerful thing aren't they? Each and every one real...raw. Experiencing the loss of a child has magnified every emotion. Some emotions I have welcomed with open arms, and others I have wanted to push away.

During the months since Branson's passing, I have spent a lot of time thinking about emotions. I have concluded that we experience them all...the good, the bad, the hard...for a reason, and I personally think that reason is so we can become more like Jesus Christ.

The mission we choose to accept by coming to this Earth was to learn, to grow, and to become more like Him and our Father in Heaven.

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect."
St. Matthew 5:48

This is our ultimate goal after all isn't it? To become perfect even as he is? For me, this process will take much longer than the time I will be given here on Earth. At times that charge seems daunting, impossible, and downright unachievable. The beautiful thing about our Father, is that he doesn't expect us to do it alone. He sent his son.

His son is our exemplar...the only human being to walk the Earth in utter perfection. His son is our truest friend...there for us every step of the way. His son is our mediator...our personal link to the father. His son is our Savior...it is only through him that this perfection can be reached. For, through his atonement, he has made up where we will assuredly fall short.

So, in time spent thinking about the Savior, I have learned a few things about emotion. First, he has felt and experienced every single emotion so he could perfectly understand us, but he also "overcame" them...mastered them to a perfect form...to continue in his perfection.

So, as I've struggled with such emotions as anger, doubt, disbelief, abandonment, loneliness, and emptiness I have tried to do a few things. First, let myself experience those emotions...for they are real. Bottling them up inside, or pretending they aren't there, would only deceive myself...but for how long?

Second, allow myself to "process" each emotion...why am I feeling that way?...what lead me to this emotion?...how do I function when I feel this way?...what purpose does this emotion serve for me right now?

Third, don't let myself get "stuck" there. Although I believe each emotion is a gift from God, they can also be a tool of Satan's. He wants me to get "stuck" in the negative, to dwell there.

Fourth, and perhaps the hardest step for me, is to let my faith and trust in God help me overcome the emotion...instead of letting the emotion overcome me.

These four things have helped me tremendously in the past. Yet, lately I am facing a new...but very strong emotion...fear. And, I am having a very difficult time not letting that emotion overcome me.

Fear in itself scares me...isn't that ironic? I am filled with fear that his baby girl won't be able to stay with us...that once again I'll be left with empty arms. I fear that I'll do something to harm her. I fear that her heart will stop beating. I fear that I'll never hear her scream, or see smile. But perhaps what I fear most is not knowing what God's will is for us and this little one.

This is the hardest emotion for me to move past...I feel like I'm getting stuck. Yet, I also feel myself wanting to pull away from it...but how?

I have been able to find examples in the scriptures where Christ felt many of these different emotions, but was there an example when Christ felt fear? As I thought about it, a scripture came to mind:

"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
St. Matthew 26:39

I believe that Christ knew that suffering for our sins and feeling every pain, emotion, and sickness we would be asked to bear was part of his purpose. Yet, as I thought about this scripture the other day, I wondered as that moment arrived in the Garden of Gethsemane if Christ might have felt a little fear...anxiety of not knowing the full extent of the suffering he was about to endure. Perhaps it was that fear that led Him to ask the Father to "let this cup pass from me".

So yes, I think Christ felt fear...he experienced it, he felt it's power.

Yet he refused to let that fear overcome him and his purpose...he overcame it with his faith and trust in His Father..."not as I will, but as thou wilt". He may have feared what lay before him, but he never doubted that His Father knew best. I believe that it was through this submission and show of faith that he overcame his fear.

It's strange, because I feel closer to my Father in Heaven than ever before...yet, I think that perhaps I still lack complete trust in his plan for me...that complete trust that the Savior obviously had. That's where I need to work...I need to use the knowledge that I have about God's perfect love, about his eternal purposes, and about my personal relationship with him to make that trust complete.

In the meantime, I'll find peace in the Savior's understanding and comfort through knowing he's there, and I'll enjoy the love, excitement, joy and hope that I feel when she's stirring inside.

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you..."
D&C 68:6

Another Earthly Angel

As we've began the journey down a new road, a road that involves a new pregnancy, and a new life stirring inside, we've felt a range of emotion from elation, joy, hope, and anticipation to emotions of doubt, anxiety, and fear. Wanting and hoping so badly that this little spirit will be able to stay with us, we have spent time on our knees as we plead with our Heavenly Father that our will and his will be one.

We know that Branson died due to a cord accident, however, we also know that his death was no accident. We have found peace and hope in that knowledge. 

Yet, as we wait for October to come,  we can't just sit by and hope for something different. Doing nothing won't calm the worries, or put an end to our fears. We feel that it is after we "do" all that we can, that the Savior is able to take us in his hands and make up the difference....to create a miracle in the form of a kicking, screaming, healthy baby girl. 

And so, we have read and researched...we have learned. In that learning we have come to know of a Dr. Collins in Louisiana who specializes in infant death due to cord accidents. His work is amazing and his mission important. He works to educate those in the medical profession about the reality of being able to prevent fatal cord accidents with the right training and proper monitoring of expectant mothers. 

He offers a service in which mothers who have previously lost a child to a cord accident, fly toLouisiana between the 28-30 weeks of a subsequent pregnancy, where he performs an extensive ultrasound. During that time he studies the baby and the cord, and he is able to determine if the cord is wrapped or knotted at that time. Then, he sends each mother home with a "home monitoring system". Each night, the mother wraps this monitor around the belly while sleeping and a machine records the baby's heartbeat and any contractions that you may be having. Then the information is emailed to Dr. Collins each morning. As he watches and analyzes the data that is sent to him, he is able to detect problems with the cord before those problems cause fatality. 

Since learning about this, I have had a great desire to participate in Dr. Collins work. The peace of Mind that would come from knowing that someone who is trained to recognize any potential problems is monitoring the health of my sweet baby would be truly priceless. Unfortunately, this program has a price tag. 

A dear friend, Amy, that also lost a beautiful little girl, Alexis, due to a cord accident is the one that sent me the information about Dr. Collins. She has been an amazing friend through everything, as she understands and relates so personally to what we face each day. She has set up a miraculous blog on our behalf. A blog called "A Peace of Mind". She emailed me just a few days ago, saying that she wanted to help make this visit with Dr. Collins happen...and that there are so many people who want to help in some small way. She invites you to visit the blog where you can find out more about Dr. Collins and some different ways you can help. 

My hope is that as others learn about Dr. Collins, more lives may be saved, more doctors will become educated, and more mothers will have a peace of mind.

Thank you Amy for being an Earthly Angel, and for serving a friend in such a selfless way. 

A Beautiful Promise

I have been missing my little boy a lot lately. I was lying in bed a few days ago, just wishing that I could have just even 15 min. with him. 15 min to talk...to hug. 15 min for him to give me added insight and a broader eternal perspective. 15 min for me to express my love to my little boy. 15 min for him to comfort his mommy. As I shed tears of loneliness, I felt impressed to read my
patriarchal blessing.
(Follow this link to learn more about this)

Since receiving my beautiful blessing at the age of 14, it has provided comfort, instruction, and direction in my life. However, since Branson's passing, it has been a gift I have grown to treasure and appreciate more than almost anything. It has become something that my heart and mind cling to, as I know that it comes from my Heavenly Father, filled with words of love and encouragement. It speaks to my soul.

It is filled with beautiful blessings that are promised to be mine as I seek to align my life's path with the will of the Lord and the commandments of God. At different times in my life, different parts of my blessing have been especially meaningful and helpful. Each time I read it, I find something new...it's been there all along, but it's meaning and significance has changed. As I read through it the other night, there was one line...one phrase that brought me the added peace and assurance I was seeking.

It stands as a paragraph of it's own:
"I bless you, Natalie, that your Guardian Angel will always be close to you."

Amazing.
I was overcome with the feeling that Branson is that Guardian Angel...that I get much more than those 15 min I was wishing for...I get a beautiful, angel son to watch over me and my family. An angel that has been promised to always be close.

Since that day, when I start to wonder "what if", I remember that beautiful blessing and I'm reminded of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. I love so perfect, that he saw fit to add a simple, one line promise some 13 years ago that would change my life today.

This promise got me through my first Mother's Day without my little boy, as I knew he would be close.

Our Angel Sent...

Dear Branson,

Daddy and I can't tell you how excited we are to meet the newest member of our family that will be joining us at the end of October! Since the beginning of our marriage, our greatest desire has been to have a family. As you know, that road has been a difficult one. We waited, what seemed to be, five very long years to discover that you would be joining our family.

Although our time with you was much shorter than we had hoped and planned...we have felt so blessed to have our dreams of having a family come true through your miraculous life. We feel the love of parents, I experience the worry of a mother, and we find it truly amazing to be parents of such a valiant spirit. We are continually humbled as we recognize and come to appreciate what we have gained, what we've learned, and what we've shared with you despite the heartbreaking loss we have experienced.

Even during your time with us in my belly, daddy and I would talk about what it would be like meet you and what it would be like to someday meet your younger brothers and sisters. We both come from amazing families and have close relationships with our siblings, and we desired that for you.

Since your passing, daddy and I have had empty arms and aching hearts. There have been moments that all I've wanted is another baby...to be pregnant again. There have also been times when all I want is you back...I don't want another baby, I just want you. We've worried we won't be able to love another child like we love you... we've worried that our next baby won't be nearly as cute as you are... we've just worried.

Through time, we are learning to accept your life and mission and we have become more and more excited at the thoughts of welcoming another member into our eternal family.

Every night daddy and I pray for you. We pray that you'll be close to us...we pray that you will be continually valiant and courageous as you fulfill your mission at this time...we pray that you'll feel of our love for you...and we pray that you'll never forget that we're here trying our best to get back to you.

Ever night we have also prayed that when the timing was right that we would be blessed with another baby. We've put a lot of trust in the Lord to know when that time would be. We've prayed that you might be able to play a special role in this miracle when it would come.

The day that I took the pregnancy test, I fell to my knees in gratitude and love for the miracle we were witnessing. I talked to you and to Heavenly Father about my excitement, my gratitude, and my overwhelming love for both you. I just couldn't wait to tell daddy the great news when he got home that night.

As daddy opened the lost box that had the pregnancy test wrapped inside, his eyes filled with tears, and together we shed tears of joy.

Throughout the time that I've been pregnant, I have felt you close. There have been days when I find myself reminiscing about you and how I felt at this time when you were with me. I find myself missing you so much. I also find myself filled with amazement at this gift that I'm sure you were a part of.

Daddy and I now pray that this new little spirit will be allowed to stay with us here on the Earth. However, we also pray that this spirit will be special...special enough to feel you close to them throughout their life...special enough to recognize what an incredible older brother they have...special enough to realize that although daddy and I will have bitter/sweet moments as we watch them grow and miss you at the same time, that it's because we love you both so much...special enough to know we are sad your not with us, but elated that they are.

Branson...thank you for playing a part in this miraculous gift. Thank you for watching out for us. Thank you for being such a special part of our family. Enjoy all the time you'll have with your little brother/sister before they join us...cause lots of trouble, do lots of good, and make lots of memories together.

We can't wait to meet them. We can only hope the baby is as special and beautiful as you are.

All My Love,
Mommy

Just What We Needed

A couple of weeks ago, we went to the mailbox, expecting the usual bills, credit card applications, and sale adds. As we shuffled through the pile however, we found a card from my dad. It was just what we needed.

The card read:
" Remember,
when the going gets tough....

(open)

...you can always
come over and hide in the closet
with me!"

The message inside really touched us, it said:

"Dear Rob and Natalie,
Been thinking about ya today. I've had Branson on my mind-wondering what if... Wish I could take him on a wheeler ride and take his picture, wish I could hold him and teach him to say "gompa"... Another day, another time.
Sure hope you both are doing good.
Love, Dad"

Simple, but perfect. It brought tears to our eyes, for we yearn for those moments as well. It brought us happiness to know that Branson is thought of in specific, tender ways. It was just what we needed that day!

Thank you mom and dad for being so good to send cards full of love and thoughtfulness every few weeks. We look forward to them. They mean more than you'll ever know!

Humbled

Back in November, during our stake conference, we had the awesome opportunity of having a visiting apostle and member of the quorum of the twelve...Elder Richard G. Scott. Rob and I were very excited for this rare visit with one of the Lord's special witnesses.


We have actually had the opportunity to meet him previous to this occasion in Navuoo while on a LDS church history tour with my parents. He spoke at a sacrament meeting that we attended. Although I don't remember the specifics of his sermon, the testimony that he bore that day had a profound impact upon my heart and mind. He bore witness that he knew without doubt and with complete assurity that Jesus lives. That He is our Savior and that He loves each and everyone of us with a complete, unconditional love. I had the distinct impression that perhaps he has been in the presence of the Savior. His witness that day was powerful, and my love and admiration for him grew with that experience.

Then, almost three and a half years later we were blessed to hear him speak again, this time directly to our stake. We attended the Saturday evening session where he shared some personal insights on trials, on marriage, on faith, on courage, and on what it means to endure. It was a rare opportunity to hear an apostle of the Lord speak so personally and share some of his personal thoughts and feelings about life, the gospel, and his love for the Savior. The next day, at the general session, he spoke about the importance of families...and the importance of doing the "little things" with our children. He bore testimony that these "little things" are the things that make the biggest difference in the end. I specifically remember him addressing family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening. I left that session with a renewed determination to live these principles more fully.

Shortly after the general session, we had an incredibly touching, sacred experience. Rob was asked by a close friend to stand in on a priesthood blessing that Elder Scott would be performing. This young friend was fighting a battle with cancer and had the faith to ask for this special blessing.

A small group of us gathered in the Stake President's office and waited while Elder Scott shook hands and greeted hundreds of other people. We talked about how busy he is, how much he had done in the last three days, and what a special experience is was to be able to spend some time with him. A while later, Elder Scott came into the small office, and instantly a special spirit filled the room. He greeted each person individually, asked their name, and how they new our young friend. I was so touched by his genuine interest, by his radiating love, and by his warm smile.

As he came to our friend, he got down on one knee and looked straight into his eyes. I will never forget the feeling that overcame me at that moment. He asked this young man if he had faith that Christ could heal his body, and explained that it would be this faith of his, combined with the power of the priesthood that could cause this healing to occur.

As Rob gathered with this small group, in a circle around this young man, I was impressed again by the love that emanated from each of them. The blessing was special, beautiful, and very personal.

After the blessing, Elder Scott again went around the room to shake each hand, and offer his love to each of us. As I waited for my turn, I kept thinking over and over that I too wanted a blessing from this incredible man. A blessing that would tell me Branson was okay, that I was going to be okay, and that someday we would have children upon this Earth. However, ever so gently, the spirit reminded me that my husband posesses the same priesthood as this apostle of the Lord, and that he is worthy at anytime to give me a blessing such as this.

This time as he took my hand, we paused and he looked straight into my eyes. Time stood still for a few moments. I told Rob later, that it was as if he was looking through my eyes into my soul. I didn't know how, but it felt like he understood some of the burdens I was carrying at that time with the passing of our son. No words were exchanged, but it seemed as if we shared something special.

Each encounter with Elder Scott has left me filled with more love and admiration for him than I previously had.

Now fast forward to this April General Conference of the Church....

Elder Scott spoke on the blessings of the temple (I am paraphrasing here). He taught so much about why the things that happen within the walls of this sacred place are so important to us as mortals in this life and as immortals in the life to come. Near the end of his talk, he said that he desired to share why these temple covenants, that bind our families together forever...even beyond the grave, are so special to him personally.

He first talked about the love that he has for his wife that passed away some thirteen years ago. He talked of the joy that has come to his life with the knowledge that they are a family unit for the eternities to come, and that although she is gone for now, that he looks forward to the day they will be reunited. He bore testimony that he knew the Lord had taken her for a wise purpose and that he believes she carries on this work on the other side of the veil.

Next, he shared that he and his wife had always desired to have a family. They welcomed three children into their home...a daughter, a son, and then a third (I think another daughter). However, he shared that this third child had died only minutes after birth....what? I was totally caught off guard, and the tears began to fall. He shared of the sadness they felt at the passing of this little one, but he also expressed the peace they felt through the knowledge that their family would one day be whole and complete again. Then, just six months later their second child, a son, needed to have a heart surgery. The surgery, if successful, would prolong the life of this child. They went ahead with the surgery. The doctor came out and told them that the surgery had been successful...that their son would be okay.

Elder Scott shared that he and his wife had just gotten on their knees to offer thanks to the Lord, when not ten minutes later, the doctor returned to deliver the devastating news that their son in fact had passed away, that his body was too weak to endure.

There I sat....tears streaming down my face as I thought about this incredible burden that Elder Scott and his wife had carried.

There I sat....humbled that this servant of the Lord had endured...with faith and complete trust...a trial similar to mine.

There I sat...with an increasing love and respect.

There I sat...with admiration of the person he's become...even though it was very tough along the way.

There I sat...in awe of this man as he expressed the joy he felt as he knew his wife was with these two children, and that he knew someday he would join them.

Was it this knowledge I knew nothing about that spoke to my soul that day after the blessing? I don't know, and perhaps I never will. What I do know is that the Lord softened my heart, increased my understanding, spoke peace to my mind, and has put extra courage in my steps as I move forward continually. I am thankful that Elder Scott shared this personal testimony with us. It gives me hope.

To find out more about our church, or this apostle of the Lord, visit the official church website at www.lds.org